Autism and love: can we love?

I think this is an absurd question. Can a cat love? Can a bird love? Can a dog love? Can you love? So why can’t people with autism?

the one thing that sets apart my love life, is that I don’t forget. I remember all the intricate details of my relationships, like the date they started and the date they ended. I remember my first dates in vivid detail.

It’s not that we can’t love, it’s that we haven’t learned to mimic how it is to be a couple. We have seen movies (and Yes, those kind too) but they give a twisted image of what love really is, what love is supposed to be.

I got my first real girlfriend (I only count those with whom I had sexual things), when I was 22. I met her at a wiccan gathering, She had put her relationship with her ex on pauze, and we broke up because we didn’t go anywhere. My fault entirely, as I didn’t want to go anywhere… She showed me something important though, that in what I was, I was lovable… somebody could love me.

I think the first partner for someone with autism is, and somehow stays the most important. Because it validates them somehow. I had talks with my psychologist on how to approach women and suddenly this girl contactende me after we met several months before. It was short, and i can only speak for myself, powerfull.

we certainly are lovable. But a partner of an autistic has to know something. They have to take us for who ¬†we are. We can change a little bit. But Some things we can’t change.

If you decide to start a relationship with us, you will get a very loving, loyal partner (although we don’t show it always), you,will have all the freedoms you want, but we can be very stubborn and jealous if you give us reason to be jealous that is.

all in all, you get a quirky partner, but one that will love you unconditionally. (And if you decide to end it, we will never forget you)

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