the Neil gaiman multiverse theory

This theory is only a theory, a fun diversion. To see my inspiration: the wünterschlaus episode of “South Park” and the council of Ricks of “Rick and Morty” were my main inspiration. The rest is some bits and bobs thrown in for fun, see if you can spot all the references.

Nobody knows for certain when the multiverse theory was first used. Physicists might have come up with the idea, but I have another theory. There is a Neil for every occassion, so my guess (and mine is as good as yours) is that there is a Neil that whispered it in the ear of that specific physicist and got his head spinning so hard that it was hard to calculate even upon this day how many spins his head has done.

Nobody knows where the first Neil came from, or how old they are, or how they replicate. The first Neil spotted in this universe must have been around the 10th of november 1960, give or take a minute. It is speculated that this is the one true Neil. The Neil to rule them all. The curator Neil as he is also known.

All the other Neils, the Neil Elves to this Neil Claus, write all the material that is ever published. Some of it is passed on to lesser wordsmiths like Shakespeare, in another universe that is then past on to ours as if Shakespeare really existed. You can see the clues in the books he has left for us. The Neil-o-micon, also known as “the sandman”-series, sees a man trying to trap Death, but they capture a Neil, in that book described as Morpheus, or the Sandman. Clearly a Neil in disguise. People are unable to dream, to tell stories, until the Neil is set free.

It is all written down in the accurate prophecies of one Agnes Nutter, Witch. Entry 101160, somewhere near the back of the book, I believe. Never read the whole thing. Some chap in a white coat snatched it from my hands when I was in a bookshop.

This one Neil, the Neil to rule them all, is said, like all other Neils to have one thing, that if he stands to close to fire, a message will appear on his chest. With most Neils it’s just something they want, like “notebooks” or “new socks” or the one Neil known as the McNeil, manifested the whole menu of Mcdonalds most of the time, hence his nickname. Now for a short word from our sponsor:

“Get your own Neil, the Neil of your choice, the Neil for your readings Neids at Neils’R’Us”

I believe there is also one Neil that tied the knot, he is known as the “he took an arrow to the”- Neil

How does the One true Neil, the Curator Neil, travel from multiverse to multiverse? Good question. I have an answer for that as well. Perfectly logical, it’s quite simple, so don’t panic. He needs a few things, first a towel. Then a small little pen, one only the true curator Neil can wield. a Pen. A pen of much significance. His. The one pen. He puts it in the air and is whisked away to other universes. Some of his own creation, for example one with a Neil with button eyes, a Lama Neil, a Neil with one eye that talks about his son Thor and waging war and such.

It is also said that you must never make a Neil wet or give them a haircut, as they will lose their writing prowess and it make their hair not look as nice. Although there is one Neil, that when he stands close to fire “a haircut” will be visible on his chest, but by most Neil-standards, he is seen as the weird Neil.

I will try to update when more is known, but this is it up to this point.

It is said that you can end up in the Neil-i-verse yourself, in the main hub area, if you take a wrong turn in a dream. Did it once. Knocked on a door in a long corridor and saw a Neil lecturing a young chap in a room full of screens. Don’t know what happened next. Next I was on a boat on a chocolate river. Still have not recovered fully from that dream.

I have talked about the weird Neil before, but there is a Neil from the Hell demension or universe, whatever you call it. Recognizable by the fact that they like their hair coiffed to the utmost perfection. Seen as a weird Neil by the others, I know from the bulletin board in the hallway next to the cafeteria. He resides in a place of torture, comes out however you imagine it (for me it looks like disneyland). It is said to best not talk about this Neil, in a sing song voice, in a tune that gets stuck in your head for ages. Really Marquezian. It is rumoured that this Neil was the one that suggested the Crowley character in Good Omens, the only time a clear Neil-identification could be made for a part of a book. This also suggests there is an Aziraphale kind of Neil somewhere. Haven’t found him yet. Rumored that he spends his time near lactose-products and golden spoons. I’m lactose intolerant so not going there.