sensory processing

This is one of the reasons I think it’s sad that I was diagnosed so late. My counselor told me yesterday, that I have to learn what overwhelms and overstimulates me, while 8 years olds with a diagnose, already know this, up until the details.

It’s sad, on the one hand, it’s a good thing on the other. I know I can behave in settings, without ever being notice as autistic. I will be quirky, but never seen as autistic. I can pass as neurotypical, this is my advantage regarding those little youngsters. I don’t care anymore for passing neurotypical, I have given that up when I was 16, when I first started noticing I was different from everybody else, but I embraced my differentness.

When I think of sensory processing I always think of the scene in the movie the matrix, the one where Morpheus teaches Neo what his perception is. Perception is nothing else than electrical stimuli interpreted by the brain, but since our brain is different, it’s no wonder that we perceive the world differently.

I only recently learned that bright light overstimulates me, although I have years almost not set foot outside in the summer. I knew about heat, and my hyposensitivity (undersensitivity) to cold.

I know tight clothing is a no-no, but loose fitting clothing is ok. And one of the first things I do when I arrive home is take off my shoes. I really don’t like shoes on for to long, and I can’t stand wearing loafers, as I constantly lose them (ADHD!!!).

I still have a lot to learn, but it’s fun learning this way. As I will get to know myself pretty well when this process is over.

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