I was sitting in my bedroom at the time, in a creative slump, in a depression really. My first girlfriend had broken up with me several months before and I was looking for something to occupy my mind. I wanted to do something creatively, something different. Something that would get me going again.

I love writing. I love creating stories. I create stories all the time, but mostly abandon them. As you see on this blog, I try to write series, but mostly I abandon them. This is why I thought nanowrimo might be a good idea, so I started planning.

My first nano I read up on everything about nano. I think I read about 100+ websites (no exaggeration) to know everything there was to know about nano. Then I came accross a website that led me to the dutchnano chat (before flanders got it’s own board.

I read and read and read and chatted and chatted and chatted and then the clock went over the 31st of oktober and changed into november and I started writing, but after a few days I gave up. This was pre-adhd diagnose. My brain froze after I couldn’t find a detail anymore.

The following year I prepped again, but I had a new companion by my side. My second girlfriend, with whom I had started a relationship in may 2011, sat by my side and we wrote together, but again… I couldn’t finish it.

The following year I wrote 50k in one day in a Red bull frenzy of which almost nothing was useable afterwards and I quickly deleted it. The writing was really, really horrible, although it contained 50k words, written over a timespan of 24 hours. I never attempted this again.

I have never won a nanowrimo since. Always I have the same stumbling blocks, but this year I want to overcome them. This year I am going to write my story using tabletop rpg rules and dice so I can’t be stuck. I will always have to anticipate the dice rolls so I will always have to be on my toes and use my creativity. It will bring my story in spots and places I wouldn’t even have concidered conciously and this is where I want to be creativity-wise.

I have written about this before how difficult it is to watch movies or read books because I have a virtual database that links stories and details and if an idea isn’t fully new, I start to get bored and start to nitpick and I do this 100 times as hard in my own writing, hence the dice rolls.

Wish me luck, I will keep you updated during november.

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