My autistic birthday: one year of autism

This is is a special date to me. I can still recall me a year ago. Nervous. Overwhelmed. Probably a bowel attack the day before. Nervous. Stressed. Full of anxiety. Nervous.

Today marks the day one year ago that I got my diagnose. Right at the end of autism awareness month. I literally became aware of my own autism at the end of autism awareness month. There is no better way than summing it up.

It has been a weird year. I became aware of so much things. 1 year ago also marks my ADHD diagnose, a total surprise at the time, although now, it seems right.

I really can’t focus without rilatin and I started taking medicine for it in november of 2017 after questioning it a lot, but what really helped me a lot was how to adhd, and especially this video. I started watching her youtube channel and subscribed to it shortly after, after watching her ted talk.

I outlined my diagnostic process before, but it seems a great time to tell it again, in short.

I was a wiccan when I started my diagnostic process. My highpriestess told me that I show and process my emotions differently than other people and she told me outright that I might be autistic. To be fair, I pondered it before, when I had to telephone on my trainee period. I hated that telephone and would script out every conversation in detail. I am sorry that I can’t show you these notes anymore. It really is a shame. I really would script out all the ways a conversation could go until someone taught me how to telephone and just told me to write down the gist of what to say. Thanks to one particular person, I got over my fear of picking up the telephone on incoming phonecalls and it still helps me with my own cellphone as well (although I try to use it as little as possible). Thanks, Wanda.

I went to a psychologist as well and she noticed that I could tell and emotional story but displayed the wrong emotions. This also helped in my identification as being autistic, as I display alexithymia as well.

Now, so many years later (9 to be exact), I got my diagnose as an autistic, largely as well thanks to the videos of Amythest Schaber and her wonderful “ask an autistic” series. This helped me identify certain traits and how they displayed in me, also it helped me becoming unable to move (or at the beginning stages unable to talk) as having a shutdown, as I only read about meltdowns on the internet and in books.

So I am eternally grateful to those that helped me discover why I am weird and why I am different and that even though I am different, I am still me and still I derserve to live and have a humane life.

This is my thanks to the autistic community to whom I became acquainted during this time. I can’t thank you all individually, but all autistics are important to me (aspie supremacists maybe a little less).

Thank you.

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