How Autism Feels: gift giving

I used to not like gifts, as in suprises. I still don’t. I don’t know how to react if I get a suprise gift that I wasn’t expecting. I just don’t like surprises.

This is in any aspect of my life. I really hate surprises. Bus 5 minutes late, my bowels will start acting up and I will start calculating in case I have a bowel attack, or I will visualize the whole track to see where I can go to the toilet.

Back to gifts. I have had suprise gifts in the past and only recently started using a simple thing: I write a list of things I want. Plain and simple. I don’t think this is rude at all, as the gift-giver knows that he/she will know that I will get something which is useful to me and which I will be happy with. In this way they will know that I will truly be happy, and it saves me from having to react in a certain way, when I actually know that I have a different feeling. I can’t act in those situations.

There is still room for surprise, for example, when I ask for a dvd of a series (I will probably ask for season one) and if they have more seasons, you can buy me more.

I will most probably also write down the store where I saw it on my list, so I make it easier for you to pick it up, because I’m certain they have it. And if I ask for say: a soldering iron, you can still get me extra things, although you don’t have to, as I only put on my list the soldering iron alone, so there is still a little bit of suprise, but just enough that I can handle it.

I think it’s sad that so many unwanted presents end up on ebay. I would never sell them, as I don’t think it’s respectful towards the gift giver, but I will give it to someone whom can use it, when I find that person.

I love it that at my girlfriends parents house (where I now celebrate christmas every year) this is already tradition of writing lists of things you really want.

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