holidays as an autistic

I don’t know how the holidays must feel for other people… I think most of them must really enjoy being together if they want to be together and even break laws during a global pandemic.

If it was up to me… I couldn’t care less about the holidays. They feel like a day like everyday. The only thing that is different is people’s attitudes during this day. They act all different and make different foods, while it is just a tick on the calendar for me.

I was invited by my ex’s parents to celebrate christmas with them, and I accepted. I just love those people and to accept was to celebrate what they have done for me over the years. I couldn’t do anything else than accept. Although, if it was up to me, I would not celebrate christmas. I haven’t put up any christmas lights or bought a christmas tree and decorated it. I haven’t sent any christmas card, and probably never will, as I just don’t care about holidays.

I hardly even celebrate my own birthday. I have set routine that I do, but is that celebrating? On my birthday, there is a carnival in the city here and I get a treat from the carnival, and I eat it and that’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.

To be fair, I used to invite people on my birthday and make it more festive, but the rest of the year I would hardly hear from them, so is it worth it to ask them and to make such a fuss about it?