Awake Willie’s Captains log: summon the megalodon

Merrick has sent me on a wilds goose chase. Yo-ho-ho! I really feel like a chicken in one o’ those coops that I need t’ brin’ t’ th’ merchant every so often. First I had t’ find his Tina, whom he apparantly tells stories t’ t’ get free drinks. Then I had t’ go t’ an uncharted island t’ get another piece o’ his journal on his sunken boat “th’ killer Whale”. The ornery cuss had a nice portrait hangin’ there though. I wonder who makes these. I would love one o’ me own in me boat. Shiver me timbers! Walk the plank! Although it would be rare t’ find such a person. After th’ second journal, I had t’ go t’ another lass in Dagger Tooth outpost t’ talk t’ that comely wench. Merrick certainly be a ladies lubber. Through that comely wench drunken slurs she gave me directions t’ another uncharted island, whar I found another piece o’ Merricks diary, by Blackbeard’s sword. th’ lubber sure has traveled th’ Sea o’ Thieves.

After that I went back t’ Shipwreck Bay and Merrick gave me his drum. It must’ve been Fair winds or somethin’, as he thought me why he let me sail t’ all these ships and read up on his story. I be knowin’ he were bein’ preparin’ me fer somethin’ big. Somethin’ dangerous.  The ornery cuss had learned o’ th’ ancients whom could summon th’ megalodon and they worshipped it, like some sort o’ God, but aft a few encounters with th’ beast, Merrick got tired o’ bein’ beaten aroun’ by it. The ornery cuss had th’ scars t’ show fer it. The ornery cuss wanted t’ be knowin’ everythin’ about th’ beast and how t’ vanquish it and eventually he taught me, I’ll warrant ye. The ornery cuss taught me th’ sacred tune t’ summon th’ beast and do th’ honors o’ slayin’ it fer that scurvey dog, but I couldn’t do it alone, although I would’ve loved it. I would’ve loved t’ be known as th’ solo shark slayer, but he forbid me t’ go at it alone. I needed 5 other people t’ summon th’ megalodon. 

Eventually, aft a few days, I found other pirates brave enough t’ go aft th’ megalodon. I just had stolen a boat o’ some wretched blunderbuss firein’ sea turtles that wrecked me beloved Seasick Raven, although th’ mermaids would guide me t’ a new vessel that I could claim as me Seasick Raven, I decided t’ take revenge and take their vessel and sail it on some rocks, but this be when I saw a pair o’ darin’ pirates on a sloop that called t’ me, t’ go aft th’ Megalodon. News sure spreads fast on th’ Sea o’ Thieves, or Merrick has recruited more people than I can imagine t’ go aft th’ beast.  After some sailin’ t’ Devil’s Ridge, aft we recruited more bilge rats t’ go with us, we went aft th’ beast. I must say that th’ teeth I have as a souvenir in me Cap’n’s cabin sure will frighten o’ anybody who wants t’ sink me Seasick Raven from now on.  

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