Do you have to come out?

I already wrote a message on coming out.

I have since thought about coming out, and I actually came out a while ago.

For me, it became necessary to come out. I had started HRT and changes would be noticable (although I had expected them sooner), but I didn’t want to hide anymore. I didn’t want to feel like I had to hide a part of me. I am not that kind of person that wants to hide things about themselves, and I won’t, although I will transition socially when I feel I can’t in any other way than become a woman. yes, part of a fear. A fear I can not describe. I can try, but it won’t do it justice.

Transgenders are still viewed as something weird. We are still viewed as men with a sexual kink, like gays were seen in history (and still are by bigots). In a world where J.K. Rowling sees us as dangerous, where people like me are killed on a daily basis (In America, but I don’t know the numbers for europe, although I would need to research that).

I came out. It was weird. It was strange. It was in a way I am most comfortable with. I wrote a letter. I will put it online in a later message for those that want to read it, as it isn’t a secret, and to those that want inspiration. Normally when I write, when I write something difficult emotionally, I write it in English, but this one I wrote in Dutch (my native language). I don’t know why, or what it implicates, but it is a nice thing, and I am rather proud in having come out.

People are afraid when they have to come out. I came out in a favourable crowd, I think. I didn’t have any wrong comments or weird questions. Most still deadname me, eventhough I stated my preference in my letter, but I think it is weird in saying a female name to a bearded person. I give them time to adjust to the situation and it gives me time as well. Transitioning goes both ways. You transition and get used to another gender, and they as well.

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