tales by the unexpected

My story, my tales, my life

Categorie: opinion (pagina 1 van 2)

So, you don’t like big pharma?

So, you don’t like big pharma?

I have read lot’s of comments made by anti-vaxxers and the things they believe and how moronic they really are.

I can offer a simple question to them. Do you own gold? Otherwise you keep supporting big banks, or do you trade everything? Do you grow your own food, free of pesticides and conserving products? Do you still keep your food sterilized? Otherwise you support big gmo’s that put dangerous chemicals and dangerous substances like to much salt and sugar that actually kill you in your food.

Do you drive a bike? Otherwise you support big oil, whom profit from killing the earth by using dangerous oils and gasses with which you propel your car, heat your home, power your appliances.

you catch my drift. You know how moronic you sound by condemning big pharma, but you keep using all the others as if only big pharma is evil. As if only big pharma kills. As if only big pharma brings out evil products.

As if autism wasn’t a thing before big pharma or the diagnose even exhisted. Gravity exhisted before Newton’s law. The big bang happened before the big bang theory was written. Evolution happened before Darwin wrote about it.

Some of you believe autistics are only a recent thing, that autistics didn’t exist before 20 years ago. I’m 30. My dad, whom was autistic as well, was 62 when he died. My grandmother was from 1908. The first autistics diagnosed by kanner are now in their 80’s or 90’s. Autism existed before this, millenia before our time now, probably.

so, you see, that your beliefs are not true and your logic is questionable. Try talking, and really listening to autistics. As to little neurotypical people really do. Really listening, not superficial. Try to step into our shoes, try to see how we became the people we are today.

But…

I love linguistics. I love the usage of words, especially to win debates or discussions, and I absolutely love to read the word but.

the word “but” has a very fun usage, whatever you say before but gets automatically deleted from the discussion because of what you say after but. Maybe you have read Some of those:

  • I am not a Trump supporter but…
  • you might be autistic but…
  • I respect your opinion but…
  • i’m not a racist but…

See what happens? Automatically you are more drawn to what comes after the but, because in your mind, what came before but doesn’t matter anymore, because the thing you need to focus on, is after the but. They can say the most racist thing in the world and still claim they aren’t racist because they said so before the but.

It’s very dangerous to discuss things with frequent users of but… but it’s so Damn fun.

feminism

Feminism, or more in particular feminists, or more in particular women that think they are feminists but are actually more hating men. Yes, those exist.

I have a page that regularly posts things, and that I can see on my facebook wall. I think I can count the things that actually go about men and when men are hurt by patriarchy, or more in particular a society that is supposedly run by men for men. I think I can count those articles on one hand.

I’ve read a book on such topic though. It was written by a women, whom went undercover as a man. Great book. It shows how men are treated in a man’s world. It shows how fun it is to not be able to show your emotions openly.

When women would be open to viewing the world, they would see that not actually men, but women are ruling the world. If you go into any DIY-shop, any shop that has things to make the house cleaner and neater and whatever, or stores like IKEA. You will most likely, see the women make all the choices. I have worked in a DIY shop and I have heard the comment: “I will have to ask my wife” more often than not.

Yes, men have their mistakes. I can’t take back all mistakes that my fellow men have done.

It’s just sad to see, that women, especially these feminists don’t see that both sides are hurt by exactly the same problem. That we shouldn’t fight eachother. That we shouldn’t be fighting over such things as mansplaining (I want to meet the woman that invented this term and have her explain it to me).

I think these feminists don’t get the real message. The message being that there are men and women, whom would rather want that we squabble amongst eachother, instead of fighting them. Them whom control us, whom make up problems for us to fight about, so we wouldn’t fight about the problems that really matter, that really make up our society. I also condemn those men that are violent against women, I also condemn those men that rape women and sexually abuse them in any way possible. The same way as I condemn those that do those things also to men.

If you could see the things and know all the things that are hanging and are decided above our heads, I think that things like feminism wouldn’t matter anymore. I like the idea of fighting against something, of rebelling against something, but make it something usefull, something that benefits all of us, not just one gender.

When I tell people I might be autistic…

When I tell people I might be autistic, the most reactions are get are one of the following:

Everybody is a little autistic

Yep, like autistics are a little bit neurotypical. I don’t think the people who say this know how offensive this really is. It’s like saying: “every person is a little bit black” to a black person, and not knowing that you said something offensive. It’s people whom are not great at dealing with diversity. I’m not typical, never will be, how hard I try to be normal (and believe me, I try, but I will never be normal, so most of the times, I don’t give a fuck. Sometimes I do. In High profile situations, like a social gathering that my girlfriend thinks that means something, or is important for her).

I couldn’t tell you are autistic, you must be high-functioning then.

Yes, just like my other disability, which is also invisible, and I get also offensive remarks about. When you can’t stand on your legs, because of an accident, and you know it’s going to heal, you won’t say to someone in a wheel chair, I know how it’s to be like you, I have been in a wheelchair like you. Nope, You haven’t been on a wheelchair like that person, just like you won’t have the bowel problems like me, or be a little autistic like me. I also hate when people say about someone when they are being OCD when they just have minor annoyances, like something not being straight. I have annoyances, which can trigger me, but they used to bug me more than now. Now I know that I can go to the store to pick up more of my breakfast, and have some tommorow. It wasn’t like that when I was young.

You can’t be autistic, because you are not like …

Don’t compare two autistics. I have met an autistic person, to whom I said I might be autistic, and he was very understanding. He told me there was a spectrum, and because I was not like him, didn’t mean I wasn’t on the spectrum as well. I have met other people as well, which caused me great doubts, because I have been searching for a very, very long time after what makes me different from most people. I thought I was highly intelligent, but an IQ test knocked that to the ground, although I didn’t think I did that bad, because the test also measures response time. I got the answer right in my mind, but my brain-mouth connection isn’t so fast, because other images keep popping up and distract the brain-mouth connection.

Stand still! Don’t fidget! (any combination of don’t move, don’t fidget, don’t do anything weird)

I had a teacher, whom I still have a grudge toward, which will never, ever go away. She failed my 6th year in high school because she thought I was anti-social, but that isn’t the worst thing she did. She told me to stand still. That’s the worst, because I was nervous during my presentation. I had to present in a group, so I had to remember my words, remember my que, had to face the jury, had to look them in the eyes. Things they told me a hundred times I didn’t do. Then in the middle of the presentation (because I have a tendency to walk around, and rock left to right all the time when I’m talking), she yelled at me (yelled, not said) that I should stand still. I stood still, not in a normal relaxed fashion. I froze in the moment I was in. Obviously, that talk didn’t go well. The next year, I had to do that year over again, and I had the exact opposite of that teacher. A teacher that was very, very understanding, whom wanted me to learn new things and whom helped me hide my stim, but never said anything bad about it. She gave me a table to lean on, which made my stims less obvious, but they were still there, and it was acceptable. I aced my presentation, by not moving standing behind a table and I was very, very relaxed giving that presentation.

 

My creative process

I must say that I am grateful that I watched the Wisecrack video on Mr. Robot’s influences earlier, as it got me to realise something.

I have thrown away many, many, many stories, because I noticed that I pulled pieces or things I liked about other stories; they way they were told, they enemy, the plotline,… things like that, out of them and made them into my own story.

When I noticed this, I would stop writing and throw away my story. I have throw away dozens maybe even more stories or beginnings or just a few sentences, before I noticed this.

In my magic career I did the same, but I was more tolerable off. I took a move there, took a way they turned over the card there,… and constructed my own frankensteinian effects, that did something in a different way but accomplished an effect that looked cool, mostly done in more difficult ways elegantly. I hacked up effects and researched effects for specific pieces in their structure that I could use. I have a notebook full of these frankensteinian pieces. But I don’t call them monsters. They are my creations.

Thanks to the Wisecrack video, I don’t see them as rip-offs anymore. I don’t see them as blatant plagiarism anymore. I don’t steal sentences, I don’t steal characters or something like that, I don’t steal complete things. I use ideas. I make collages out of these ideas, in the process, making my own things, my own frankensteinian creation. I give it a name and love it very, very deeply.

Now thanks to the storycubes I use, I use the same 9 dice everyone else uses when they buy the standard set, and I use the same 3 extra dice if they buy the Clues mix dice, but I give it my own interpretation, create my own creations, with the same puzzle pieces everybody else is using.

Now, I rarely throw away stories anymore. I noticed that I needed a character that looked like certain characters and I pulled certain characteristics out of them and wrote my own character out of it. Made it my own, but with the same characteristics as the characters I loved.

I love archetypes, I love reading about them, and while typing up this article I got a great idea for another blogpost which will be up later, when I’m finished with it, after thoroughly having researched it and such.

Book review: Rejection proof by Jia Jiang

I wish I had half the courage as this man had, during his project. He started his first project with a small heart, but he started anyway. He did his 100 days of rejection, and was pleasantly surprised.

The book chronicles the journey of Jia to become rejection proof through 100 tasks he sets himself to ask ridiculous things of total strangers.

It started with is first act: trying to borrow 100 dollar from a total stranger. He went into his office building and asked a total stranger, a security guard, if he could borrow the 100 dollar. In his head he was preparing for all kinds of rejections, before he even asked his question. He gets a “No. Why?” and he basically bolts out the door.

He films his rejections which are still watchable on his youtube channel here.

His turning point, as is noticable in the book, is this project here. He sincerely wants them to say No, to his request. He sincerely wants to hear No. But as the video goes on, you really see the server (Jackie) ponder the request and overthink verbally how she would do it. At the end of the video, you see him get the donuts, free of charge, just because he asked something out of the ordinary.

The book is a sort of therapy for rejection grounded in some of the ideas also discussed in my previous book review, antidote.  It’s a therapy that helps against shyness and helps people to get more confidence as well, by giving them a task: lying down in public, for example, as in the comfort zone crusher, originally popularized by Albert Ellis in his Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, based on ancient stoic philosophy.

I like the fact that he took himself as a guinea pig and did this experiment on himself and reported it back to us. As a science report on how to beat rejection.

He writes in a very down to earth way, explaining his experiments day to day with great interest, disecting them, like a scientist and telling you why he does it, and what he felt during the experiment.

It’s a great read for people whom are interested to conquer their fear of rejection, as I initially was, although I never did any of the exercises or did any CBT (although it really sounds interesting). It is interesting to read about a man’s experience in conquering his most potent fear, and break it down, day after day in a 100 day experiment, that clearly changed his whole life.

You can watch a ted talk about his experience down below:

 

Sherlock Season 5: Will we see it?

To be blunt, I hope we don’t.

There will be spoilers after this sentence, so if you haven’t watched the final episode of season 4, stop reading HERE.

 

I finished watching season 4 today. I recorded it and waited for the best moment to watch it. I was home alone today, so I took my seat and started watching.

I must say that at certain points in the final episode, I couldn’t stop myself from jumping around, especially when Jim Moriarty showed up. I made a prediction during the second episode of season 4 that Euros was behind Moriarty, and in my head I had an elaborate theory on how he could have died, and actually, he could still be alive. I might post my theory in a later blog post.

Euros might have instructed Jim Moriarty in how to play with her little brother, as he only seemed interested in him. How he planned only things for him, as he is a conculting criminal, as he said in episode 1.

Well, if we are speculating, why not type the theory here:

What if:

Euros had contacts with Culverton Smith, whom could have supplied her with a bodie that matched Jim Moriarty, like Molly Hooper did for Sherlock. Culverton gave her the note his daughter had written, and Euros touched it up a bit, as she said herself “she added a few deductions of her own”.

Mycroft told us that everybody that went with her could be made into a slave, thanks to a sort of verbal hypnosis. We already saw that she could slip in and out of prison at some point, so it isn’t all that remarkable that she could help Moriarty with his ploys, playing Moriarty. Helping him break into the bank, the prison and access the crown jewels, as they met before Sherlock met Moriarty.

Euros could’ve orchestrated the whole game with Sherlock from the very beginning, playing in his hands the cases that he would think were interesting, orchestrating every case he solved up to that point.  She knew her little brother inside and out, so it seems, and he had no knowledge of her.

I have been right before. When everybody was talking about JohnLock I was arguing that the woman was still alive and that she and sherlock were in love, which was confirmed in the fourth season.

Why couldn’t the above theory be true as well.

 

How my view on society came to be

I know i have a very dystopian view on society. I had it since i was 16, since i started to think over my life up until then. You might think that it is pessimistic, that it is grounded in a dark view of society. I rather see it in an honest view of society, because i don’t like to be told how to think, or buy by society

Don’t get me wrong. I tried to belong. I tried to be a healthy member of society. I looked at my peers and saw what interested them. I tried to emulate them, be more like them. I was a blank slate once.

Most of the things I picked up came from emulating others… otherwise I would still be that blank slate. I learned and stole mannerisms and ideas and clothing styles with my eyes, from people i looked up to.

The first people i looked up to, was my sisters, so I tried to be with them as much as possible, tried to see and hear what interested them. It was the 90’s and boysbands didn’t interest me much, although I still like the occassional song. Backstreet back for example. They were into heavy thumping music, with a very repetitive rhytm. Hardcore. Cd’s by thunderdome were played regularly in their room. I liked the ones with the funny texts, happy hardcore.

I tried to emulate them well into my teens when I was the only “gabber” as they called people who were dressed like me. Skaters were the opposite group. Long hair, to my short hair, baggy trousers almost showing their complete boxers, to my “tight” jeans.

I switched over… when that fad was over and i was relentlesly ridiculed for my long hair.

Everything changed for me, when I watched the matrix. Still one of my favourite movies. It,must have been in me the whole time already. My parents divorce must have been played a big role as well, as it made me a loner as well. I, as I have said before, was one of the few with divorced parents. The brainwashing by my mom starting to lose its grip.

I moved the matrix. I don’t think there is a documentary in the world about the matrix in english that i haven’t watched. I started to,read philosophy, started to love the brain-in-a-vat-theory, as i now love the simulation-theory.

I loved philosophy, eventually also started reading psychology and became more me. Became less like everyone else. I was the weird kid, in a long black coat. I wasn’t gothic. I was a loner. I wasn’t and didn’t try to be anymore, like anyone else.

i started to watch clips like “money is debt” on YouTube and started to realise that society isn’t a Utopia to live in, even more so, when you see that it isn’t a Utopia. Even more so, when you have given up on ever belonging inside the big crowd, like i once wanted.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a dull, pessimistic person to live with. I just accepted me more, accepted how society works more. I still don’t like society, but if i were to be angry all the time, i would become the hermit again i once was.

Book review: The Antidote by Oliver Burkeman

I was stuck in a rut after the death of my father, so I tried all kinds of methods to get out of it. Some self-help things to get out of a depression, including reading this book, The antidote, written by Oliver Burkeman.

This book is an anti-selfhelpbook. The self-help industry is a billion dollar industry of false-claims and general feel-good mumbo jumbo. This book is different, and a relief to read. This book, tries to help you to become a happier, more informed citizen. The author of the book has tried every method he professes in his book, and it really is a fun read, to see what conclussions he took from every method he tried.

He comes away from the whole experience with a whole other outlook on life.  He’s a journalist for The guardian and went out to look for “happiness for people who can’t stand positive thinking”, as is written on the cover of his book.

The tone of the book is funny at times, heavier at other times, but it is a light-hearted read. I read the book in 3 to 4 days and recommended it to other people as soon as I finished it.

In the book he seeks out methods to become happier. He looks at psychology, esoteric methods and eventually stumbles upon philosophy. I have taken a lot of notes from this book, because he has some very good remarks upon certain subjects. In chapter one he remarks that “Perhaps you don’t need telling that self-help books, the modern -day apotheosis of the quest for happiness, are among the things that fail to make us happy.”

A reader looking for advice to become happier in times when it is difficult, might like this book. Another book that this reader might find helpful, and one I’m also reading at the moment is “Happy” by Derren Brown.

Why aspies will invent AI

I have been interested in AI a while now, and thinking about programming my own virtual in house assistant like Tony Stark’s Jarvis since I first saw the first Iron Man movie. I don’t know enough programming to even write a more complex programming than that prints more than just a few lines on the screen, but I’m thinking ahead, I always do, and in the mean time, I’m learning a usefull skill.

Why do I think aspies will invent AI?

It’s quite easy, actually. It’s a logical leap. It’s not because Silicon Valley is already Aspie Valhalla, primarily dominated by people on the autism spectrum, but because of a completely different reason.

First a warning

I have to warn you, though. I might be completely off, but it might be usefull to pose this theory anyway, because somebody might pick up the idea and further research a few decennia, or it might just be a joke to people, either way, great fun.

Now: On with the theory.

Why specifically Aspies? It’s not because I’m vain and I want it to be someone like me. No. I’m not that arrogant. It’s because of a more logical, less self-centered reason.

I have noticed, that I have a tendency to think in programming code, or a simulation of programming code while interacting with people. To give you an example: I work at a store at the moment and I have a certain thing I do:

“If person stands to long watching something, ask if you can help”, this is a script I run, to help people and to know when to help. I don’t approach to early, because they will often say that they are just browsing, or they know what they want but they are just looking. It’s the scripting part, because I have scripts and routines for EVERYTHING. From getting dressed, to eating my breakfast, to getting ready for work, for everything. I literally think like a computer. Not in binary (although I don’t see grey areas in a discussion), but in If-then-statements. I also do this in social interactions. When I wanted to approach a female, or when I was in earshot of one. I would do this (this could be cringe-worthy, but it was an opener I actually used. note: I have a tummy.) “I have the body of a God” and when the women started to chuckle or do that eyeball turn thingy, I would look one of them in the eyes, look down and say: “Shame it is Buddha” and then I would introduce myself. or do something else.

It worked to get the conversation going. What I also do, and my dad also did, was copy stand-up comedian scripts ad verbatim and bring them when the situation was appropriate, when a certain keyword was said and it fitted nicely in the conversation, or we thought it did. I have been compared with a stand-up comedian here in my country, because I copy him so well.

Aspies will revolutionize AI because we think so like computers. That’s it. That’s my epiphany. Enjoy your life.

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