Hello boy. (a letter to my future child)

 

Hello,

I know you had a hard day. School is hard. Trying to fit in is hard. I know how you feel.

Getting up on time. Remembering to dress properly. Don’t forget your lunch, your backpack. Have you made your homework? Could you do your homework? Did we help you? Did you need help?

I know it’s hard. I know how you feel.

Recess. The loud noises. Everybody running around doing things. You might be sitting alone. Or walking around alone. Thinking about things. Ruminating. You have tried making friends. But it is hard. Fitting in is hard. I know how you feel.

You grow up. Other school. Different teachers every hour. You have more pressure to fit in. Puberty. The loud noises of before are still there. Maybe a few friends. Maybe not. Mocked for who you are, your clothes, the things that make you different. Your cellphone is out of date. Anything can make them not like you. Trying to fit in is hard. I know how you feel.

I know that you feel insecure. I know that you doubt anything about you. Even your diagnose. Is having it even a good idea? Why does society hate you? Why do they hate people that are different?

Put this between your ears and keep it there. What if you were dancing naked. Naked. And having fun. For no apparant reason. What would people say? What reason would they make up? Why do you do it? Only one person will know for sure. You. The sooner you learn that only your opinion matters on anything about you, the better.

The sooner you learn that everything: which cellphone, the way you dress, the way you do your hair. Anything about your appearance is only for you to criticise and judge, the better. The sooner you learn that the way you look is ok. The way you behave is ok. The way you are is ok. The better.

I would let you read psychology, so you understand the people around you better. Why they do things. Tested in lab enviroments. Thanks to hours of observation. It might give you an idea how they operate.

I would also strenghten your analytical powers. I would teach you about philosophy. Stoicism. How to survive in a world not build for you.

And only you matter. What people think about you, is their opinion. You are what matters. You are you. No two alike. I would teach you that people are obsessed with perfection and don’t see the long term concequences of their actions. They think perfect is ok, but they don’t see that it is an imaginary construct, put their to keep them distracted. There is no perfect. If you try to define perfect then it falls apart like a Fata Morgana when you go close up to it. Forever out of your reach.

You are good as you are. The most valuable thing you can give yourself is knowledge. Knowledge about the world. About the things around you. The only thing you need to develop and nourish, is curiousity. Never let them take that away from you. Be curious about anything. It will lead you far. It will make the journey more interesting.

Eén gedachte over “Hello boy. (a letter to my future child)

  • 31/01/2018 om 21:31
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    My favourite part of Hello Boy:

    “Put this between your ears and keep it there. What if you were dancing naked. Naked. And having fun. For no apparant reason. What would people say? What reason would they make up? Why do you do it? Only one person will know for sure. You. The sooner you learn that only your opinion matters on anything about you, the better.”

    I hope Boy gets to dance naked at least once in his life or when he feels like it.

    Beantwoorden

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