tales by the unexpected

My story, my tales, my life

So, you don’t like big pharma?

So, you don’t like big pharma?

I have read lot’s of comments made by anti-vaxxers and the things they believe and how moronic they really are.

I can offer a simple question to them. Do you own gold? Otherwise you keep supporting big banks, or do you trade everything? Do you grow your own food, free of pesticides and conserving products? Do you still keep your food sterilized? Otherwise you support big gmo’s that put dangerous chemicals and dangerous substances like to much salt and sugar that actually kill you in your food.

Do you drive a bike? Otherwise you support big oil, whom profit from killing the earth by using dangerous oils and gasses with which you propel your car, heat your home, power your appliances.

you catch my drift. You know how moronic you sound by condemning big pharma, but you keep using all the others as if only big pharma is evil. As if only big pharma kills. As if only big pharma brings out evil products.

As if autism wasn’t a thing before big pharma or the diagnose even exhisted. Gravity exhisted before Newton’s law. The big bang happened before the big bang theory was written. Evolution happened before Darwin wrote about it.

Some of you believe autistics are only a recent thing, that autistics didn’t exist before 20 years ago. I’m 30. My dad, whom was autistic as well, was 62 when he died. My grandmother was from 1908. The first autistics diagnosed by kanner are now in their 80’s or 90’s. Autism existed before this, millenia before our time now, probably.

so, you see, that your beliefs are not true and your logic is questionable. Try talking, and really listening to autistics. As to little neurotypical people really do. Really listening, not superficial. Try to step into our shoes, try to see how we became the people we are today.

Depression

It’s been a while since I posted because I had to up my dose of antidepressants. I had suicidal thoughts again. My life is looking to improve, but not just yet. So I have to endure a little bit longer.

also: I have prescriptions now for adhd meds that I am going to get as soon as possible and hope to see an improvement.

i will write more in the future, but this post already has me drained at the moment.

see you in the future.

Anthony Hopkins

I read a recent interview of Sir Anthony Hopkins and there was a fact stated that I didn’t know before.

Apparantly, Mr. Hopkins, the man that played Hannibal so marvelously, whom played my favourite Zorro, is autistic.

This brings the count to Hollywood actors whom I know are autistic to three (next to Daryll Hannah and Dan Akroyd).

 

source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/event/article-4587980/Anthony-Hopkins-Hannibal-Lecter-Transformers.html

analogy: the coin

I love writing and thinking about analogies to explain difficult concepts into more easier to grasp things. In this case, you can actually grasp it.

Take a coin. I don’t matter what coin it is. Just take it. I have hear with me, also a coin. A coin with autism on one side, and a person on the other. Let’s say they minted a coin for autism awareness day.

Can you take the autism out of the coin? Can you take it off? No, it’s a feature of that coin. It was minted that way. The same way a Kennedy half-dollar is a Kennedy half-dollar because it has kennedy on one side and half dollar on the other. The kennedy part is a feature of that coin, otherwise it would be a different half dollar (not less, just different).

What would you need to do to take the autism of the coin? You will have to drastically reshape it. You will have to disfigure the coin to get the autism off. I know a way: you can remint it. You can destroy this coin and remint it as something else. You can also take a file and take the autism off that way.

How would you refer to that coin? They show you the coin? You work with the coin. Would you keep referring to it as the coin with autism? Or would you refer to it as the autism coin or autistic coin? Let’s say it’s a half-dollar with autism on one side and has the actual value of a half dollar. Would you ask if you could pay with it, thinking it was less, because it has autism on one side?

Put the coin with the autism side down. This is a theory of mind exercise, see if you can do it. Does the coin still have autism because you can’t see it? Do you see that not every coin has a little bit of autism? Every half dollar has the same value, yes. But not every half dollar has autism strapped to it’s back, does it? Not every coin is even minted the same year.

Every coin is valuable, like every person is valuable.

How does autism feel: Alexithymia

a previous entry in this series, about echolalia, you can find here

 

It is a bit ironic to start an article about alexithymia with the title: what does it feel like.

alexithymia in it’s most basic definition is a lack of being able to explain ones feelings and emotions. It doesn’t make us less empathic, as described in the Wikipedia article on alexithymia. It just makes us want to take care of it practically.

I am the kind of person you would go to, to find a solution to your problems as I think about everything rarionally. I as glad to read about stoicism as in that philosophy, not being able to feel emotions is not pathologized, but seen as a virtue.

It’s not that I don’t see you are distressed, it’s just that I don’t know how it feels, so I don’t know what to do in such a situation.

The same goes for my own feelings. I might act frustrated, but when you Comment on it… I might not know that I was doing so.

How do I know a certain emotion? When I know how it shows itself. I know I’m depressed when I have suicidal thoughts. I know I’m sad, when I am crying. I don’t know how I would describe happy.

I know how love manifests itself, but I don’t feel the physical feelings. To go more into this, I know that I have sexual feelings when something starts to bulge… not sooner.

The thing is that I don’t know if I had this all my life. I don’t think I remember any feelings. Ever.

Is alexithymia harmful? Not to other people. It is to my body, I display physical symptoms instead of emotional. So when something is brooding, I get reflux. When a period was stressful I get bowel problems.

Does it have an upside? Absolutely. I don’t feel emotions. Thanks to reading stoicism, I appreciate it more, as I have the ability to always think rationally. To in any situation instead of first reacting, I have to reflect, or I can go through where others might stop. Or I stop where others might go through, as when I feel a certain emotion, or when I notice certain traits of how I act under a certain emotion, I stop to reflect why this is happening and look for a cause, as most people just feel, and don’t reflect.

murder and autism?

Great written article that you absolutely must read.

http://www.theautisticadvocate.com/2017/10/autistic-people-are-not-murderers.html?m=1

I believe in curing autism by Adam Michael

Shared with permission of the author

I Believe in ‘Curing’ Autism – By Adam Michael

I believe in ‘curing’ autism:
I believe in curing it through acceptance of Neurodiversity.
I believe in curing it by recognizing that there is no such thing as a ‘normal’ human brain.
I believe in curing it by stripping it of the stigma and the label ‘disorder.’
I believe in curing it by helping Neurotypicals and Autistics better understand each other and their needs.
I believe in curing it by teaching kids and adults both that it is okay to be different.
I believe in curing it by healing the damage caused to many by a health care system that oppresses and tries to change people away from being who they are.
I believe in curing it by helping society see our gifts and unique abilities.
Most of all, I believe in curing us of the conformity and disease narrative that harms all of our attempts to simply be valued as people in this crazy world.

But tell me you believe in curing us of our very natures?

That we are broken somehow because we work and think differently?
That we clearly don’t understand the ‘severity’ of our own situations?
That our concerns clearly aren’t valid, and that our anger is ‘typical Aspergers/Autistic behaviour?’
That we are clearly in need of being talked down to and cared for because we are incapable of this ourselves?
That you’d like to see pre-natal screening for the fabled ‘autism’ gene so that we could spare future generations the existence of people like us?
That you’d rather your child get smallpox, measles or any number of vaccine-preventable diseases rather than be born with autism?
That you’d rather rewire you child’s entire personality and way of being, and in so doing destroy and rebuild them, rather than live in a world where they have autism?

That is not okay.

If this is your concept of a cure? Then this is where our problems will begin.
For I am Aspie, I am proud, and on behalf of all my fellow spectrum dwellers, hear us ROAR!

Source: http://differentlywire.blogspot.be/2017/10/i-believe-in-curing-autism-slam-poem.html

 

Normal?

This is something my sixteen year old self would have loved to read, as it is something I have been thinking about since then. Also, this will explain the basis for my self confidence.

I would never want to be normal. Normal is average. Normal is not something I look up to. All the people you meet day to day are normal.  One of the people I aspire to are extraordinary, like Da Vinci.

Normal is boring and even your brain knows it. That’s why when asked, people will always rate themselves higher than they are, known as rhe dunning-kruger effect.

So, even the brain of normal people doesn’t want to be labeled as normal… why would you aspire ro be normal then? This is why functioning labels are offensive. They compare autistics to normal, while Some of us, can do things most neurotypicals can only dream of. Like for example, me and movies… I have a terrific memory for them and after I watched it once, I can follow the movie without looking, just by listening to the sound. I see the movie in my mind’s eye.

so, why would you want to be normal? Here’s an anecdote about me. While I was still in school and one day after class ended, I was talking to my religion-teacher and he said ” I don’t know what it is, but you are not normal. Something is weird about you. I don’t know what.” He thought he might have offended me, so he apologized… he must have been freaked out when I thanked him with this sentence: ” Thanks, this means I’m not normal like most of them” pointing backwards to school, meaning most of then pupils of the school.

I was the odd one out… always.

also, how can people know for 100 percent certainty why you do something? If you lie down in a busy train terminal… why can they judge you? Maybe you are dead tired, or there is something else… Maybe you are part of a religion that asks you to pray on busy train terminals? So… nobody can judge you with 100 percent certainty… so why do you still have low confidence?

also, I think neurotypicals don’t like autistics, because we are not normal. We are the odd-ones out. We emphasize their averageness and they don’t like that. not even their brain can then deny their averageness.

An analogy to explain autism

Autism is a tough one to explain to people whom have never heard of it, or have never had to deal with it. Very, very difficult.

What if you could use a children’s bookseries, not related to autism at all, to explain a lot of autism? I have done some thinking and send it to an autism expert, whom thought it was a great idea (he’s a fan of harry potter as well), so here goes:

What if Harry Potter could be used to explain autism?

Wait! Don’t try to cast a spell on me yet. Let me explain.

Most autistics are diagnosed late. Childrens diagnoses are only a fraction of us, whom are diagnosed later in life. I was diagnosed when I was 29, for example, some are even diagnosed now in their sixties or seventies (some even older, although rare).

A diagnose for us feels like Hagrid coming through the door and telling you, you are a wizard. Asking you if you ever made some weird things happen all by itself, without you being able to explain it. This could be autistic traits by a psychologist, and tell you: you have autism. Suddenly, all the puzzle-pieces start to click. Suddenly everything starts to fall in place. Harry even likens Hogwarts as coming home, the wizarding world is his home. This is how the autistic world feels for us, having to have lived so many years in the neurotypical world, the autistic world for us feels like home. Being able to be “normal” in a different world, where all of your traits are not seen as something weird, but seen as something completely normal.

You also get the reaction of the parents (both his dead parents and his uncle and aunt, and nephew). For most of us, it’s a reason to celebrate (as it is a part of our identity that finally falls into place), so cake is something that is in place. Some (like me) even celebrate our diagnose like a second birthday. The reactions of his wizard-birth-parents would’ve been one of joy. They have a child. They don’t mind if it’s autistic or not. it’s their child. It would’ve been a reason for joy, and as you can see, by the flashbacks in the books: Harry was greatly loved by his family. His aunt and uncle… completely different story.

His aunt and uncle are what we call autism-parents. These are the parents that claim the label autism for themselves, to make them martyrs. Look at how difficult we have it, with you in our living room. Despising harry most of his life, because of them knowing he’s a wizard (autistic). They tried to make him more “normal” by cutting his hair. Dudley, not knowing any better, bullied him together with his friends. You can see how Petunia feels about being a wizard when she recalls the story of her sister and her parents joy over it, that she is a wizard (autistic). Look in the movies how movie-petunia recalls it. You can feel the hate in her voice. Dursleys sister, the one with the dogs (forgot her name), you can see as a quack. Someone trying to cure autism. Giving up some crazy theories, without actually knowing anything about autism. You get now why Harry Potter gets so enraged.

We have covered the diagnose now.

My favorite character in the book is Snape, and by linking the character to autism, I felt a renewed connection to him.

Snape for me isthe quintessential Autie, and how he lost his friendship with Lily ( by blurting out something inappropriate, was gifted in options up to the extend that he was better than the writer of the book he was meant to study, but he still stayed loyal to Lily Potter in such a way that he lied and cheated to the world’s most powerfull wizard. His wand is the only one I possess in my own Harry Potter collection (and I am actually a proud Slytherin because of him).

Female examples? Sure. Lily Poter is one. Oh, you want more details. Look no further than Hermoine. Hermoine has no female friends and look at her determination to make the world a better place for the house-elves. How she read the entire curriculum of Hogwarts before even setting foot on its grounds and how she can recall the information with great ease.

What got me thinking about the wizarding world and the autistic world is Ron’s father. He has a fascination for muggles, but doesn’t understand them. He works in a department dedicated to them, still doesn’t know the basic functionality of a rubber duck. Look at how he goes through the metro in the movies, it even looks like a person shutting down, because of sensory stimulation.

Lucius malfoy, father of draco malfoy, is the best example to explain aspie supremacy. Some aspies (I came to despise the word because of these) think they are better than other autistics up to a point that they think they are a different species altogether. Some of them don’t even want anything to do with neurotypicals and cling so hard to the label of aspieness that they will use it in almost very sentence.
Professor lupin could be a great example of a mentor to an autistic, even an autistic psychologist or a psychologist without autism as he is one of the best teachers for Harry, teaching him about facinf his fear.
His Godfather and his father can be used to explain comorbid diagnoses as they were able to shapeshift into animals.
The werewolves in the book can be seen as sexual predators (sadly this also includes lupin) but he gets a potion by snape.
One more: what about the magical creatures? These are all the other diagnoses that fall under neurodiversity and newt scamander collecting and advocating for them, makes him the perfect example of a neurodiversity-self-advocate.

Mother receives hurtful letter about her autistic son

The mother of a child with autism says she feels hurt by neighbours who sent her an anonymous letter complaining about the noise her son makes outside.

Jessica Green, of Berkeley, Gloucestershire was told to take action otherwise the neighbours threatened to report her family to social services.

Henry, three, has nonverbal autism and uses high pitched noises to express himself when he is in the garden.

The letter describes Henry as ‘it’, and the “screechy, screaming child”.

The sender also questions whether Henry is “neglected”.

“People can no longer sit out in the garden to enjoy the weather because all we hear is your child shrieking from across the street,” the letter continued.

It added that residents were “sick to death” of hearing him screaming “continuously” and stated that unless action was taken “a group of us will be talking to tenant services at Stroud Council and making a noise complaint against you”.

Mrs Green said the letter was “really hurtful” and she was “absolutely astonished” at the writer’s “ignorance”.

She has posted a response to the “vicious and blinkered letter” on Facebook which she hoped would “raise awareness and promote understanding and acceptance of people that are different to ourselves”.

‘Form of bullying’

She said: “The ‘it’ you are referring to is my three-year-old son Henry who has autism and is nonverbal.

“He uses high pitch noises to express himself and how he is feeling; be this happy, excited or sad.”

Mrs Green said the letter “shows a selfish, narrow minded and uneducated view” and “every person has a right to a voice and to be heard, and for Henry he has his own unique way of doing this”.

She added: “I have taken the letter as it was intended, as a form of bullying and of a threatening nature”.

Stroud District Council said it was offering support to the family, and Mrs Green confirmed she had filed a complaint with Gloucestershire Police.”

source

This article became international news, and of course a lot of ignorant, malinformed people had to comment on them. Also, on pages by newspaper in my country. I read some of them and really had to recover a few days. I was first going to do full translations, but decided against it. It would cost me to much energy, and to much to recover from this. I made screenshots for later reference.

I must say, that reading these comments was really disheartening. I knew there was still a lot of work, even people that provide services in job counceling know nothing about autism, or almost nothing. There is a real need to teach people about something like autism.

I’m planning a lot of things. Things have got to change. I’m not an aggressive person. Things have got to change. Action must be taken and one thing this comment section has done, is it it made a bonfire of the small flame that was already there.

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